saw god in a parking lot the other day
he smiled and my thoughts ran away from home
i was reaching out to touch his face
until i realized he was untouchable
not because he wanted to be untouchable
but because he was everything around me
it's so hard to envision touching life
but if you can touch life with your whole heart
you can touch god's face...
i saw god in my house yesterday morning
he was inside my daughter's room
inside my daughter
she looked up at me with her big blue eyes
the ones that used to be Frank Sinatra blue
but since then have blended in with a silver
that has further pronounced the growing beauty of her
she looked into my eyes with her eyes
she was starting to become agitated
then upset, then enraged
throwing clothes around her room
the room she helped me clean the night before
i wanted to become frustrated with her
but god told me to put my arms around her instead
so i did
when i did i almost started to cry
she did start to cry
she cried hard there in her room
i didn't almost start to cry because she was crying
i almost started to cry because
now i wasn't just seeing god
i was feeling god too.
she felt better after that
and so did i
but i couldn't help but remember the feeling
that stayed deep within my skin
inside into my heart.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
I woke up this morning and my mind was the New Jersey Turnpike
I woke up and the thoughts I stuffed in a suitcase and buried in the back yard rose from the dead like dark spirits on a full moon
The crack in my small bridge became a full fledged safety concern and I finally asked myself a question that should have been asked a long time ago:
What does my love look like?
I don't usually entertain that question, I don't sit down and close my eyes and visualize love
But when I did it scared me
Because my love was always leaving, was always double-sided with impure intentions
The love I saw looked nervous and paranoid
Well I looked in the mirror and asked myself where this thought came from?
The devil spoke to me again and said "you think I'm going anywhere?"
He said, "I'll be waiting for you everyday for the rest of your life, and frankly, right now... I don't think you're strong enough to handle what I have for you"
All I could do was shake my head, close my eyes, and pray for the thoughts to stop.
He's right, I'm probably not strong enough.
Don't listen to a word I say.
The screams all sound the same.