giant slabs of silence
layered the beat-up passat station wagon
he pulled the car to the side of the road
they hadn't even reached her mail box, her walkway, her front door
she understood his hasty proceedings
the tension was more than apparent to both of them
no exit sign for her though- she was staying in that car
deep inside herself the real secret was growing
the secret was not about their relationship, or the fact that is seemed all but over
or that it never did begin
the secret had nothing to do with their inability to communicate or coexist
or to love each other in all the right ways
those secrets were already exposed
her secret was much larger
than petty disagreements and apathetic lovers
he put the passat into park
it jerked to a stop
he looked out the driver's side window briefly
admiring the death of a summer
the leaves were scattered about in some yards
and orderly and organized into neat piles in others
he looked at her
her hair was disheveled as usual
he thought to himself that no one wore disheveled hair so well
that thought gave way to hopelessness
two lovers who were unsure how to love
mostly barricaded by impassable walls of fear
she looked at him in disbelief
a boy
he was only a boy
how could he take care of her?
and the secret? how could he take care of the secret?
she pushed her nagging thoughts back down
deep down
as deep as the secret itself
the rumbling started
and the tension in her stomach was working its way up
all the way up to her vocal chords
whether it was the right time or not
a smile across her face set the tone
and she almost blurted out two words
that sliced right through the slabs of silence
all he could do was stare back at her
that disheveled hair, that smile on her face, his girl
he was not ready for this kind of news
he knew that much
his girl looked as young as he
she looked scared and hopeful and desperate
but much too young to have such a big secret
the moment the secret was out
the second it was shared by two instead of just one
this was the time the slabs of silence transformed
into light vibrations of peace
a boy and a girl had their peace
and they didn't even know it
he took her warm hand into his
and they both watched the death of a summer out their windows
while they both secretly anticipated a new life to come.