You wanted a monster, here I am.

It's been a while since I've taken the time to write (type) down thoughts here.
My typical life can sometimes sweep me away from things I enjoy most.
Like discovering new music, and challenging myself to record my thoughts somewhere, anywhere.
I really shy away from putting myself out there enough to try and explain what I'm thinking.
Or even to sit down and sort out the thoughts to begin with.
When I do I come away from the experience very fulfilled, but the next try is just as difficult.
I don't know why that is? Am I nervous of what someone will think? After all, I am my biggest critic. Or do I just block myself from the fulfillment that doing what I love can offer?
Either way, I'm here now.

I was talking with someone the other day, and trying to explain my view on God (WAIT- don't run away or stop reading or immediately assume something about this conversation). It was a very non-threatening talk, and I was merely stating my idea which seems obvious to me now..
God takes on so many forms for so many different people, but I was thinking the real focus is on the battle of good and evil. The battle of what we think we want to do, with what we actually should do. Or the battle of our emotions going haywire versus total self-control in any situation- these kinds of fights.

These battles are the real thing. We don't need to have known a God or met a Godlike figure to know these battles. They occur every single day. So how does God come into play? Or, as Buddha thought it- how does the very tricky Ego figure into this equation?

The delusions that come along with being a human cause us to lose sight of what is important- for ourselves and for others. These delusions will always exist, and some have far more delusions, and at higher extremes, than others. The minimization of the delusions come with experience, but right along with experience one must practice an unbiased reflection of their own actions, must exert self-control, patience- a willingness to grow. This is the constant battle we all face. Some lose this battle day in and day out. Others win one battle, but lose another. Still others press on doing whatever they must to conquer each and every battle they encounter... these people are few, and very special.

I'm not sure that it matters what God you pray to. What religion or philosophy you rely on to help fight the battles alongside yourself. However, you must find some rock, some solid foundation. So when your emotions do go haywire, or your patience has been depleted, or your self-control is shaky, you can stand firm and still fight the good fight against these delusions- against the evil that plagues us all.