Shrill Sounds
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
The buck stops here.
Monday, March 12, 2012
God.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
love in the daylight
he smiled and my thoughts ran away from home
i was reaching out to touch his face
until i realized he was untouchable
not because he wanted to be untouchable
but because he was everything around me
it's so hard to envision touching life
but if you can touch life with your whole heart
you can touch god's face...
i saw god in my house yesterday morning
he was inside my daughter's room
inside my daughter
she looked up at me with her big blue eyes
the ones that used to be Frank Sinatra blue
but since then have blended in with a silver
that has further pronounced the growing beauty of her
glowing face
she looked into my eyes with her eyes
she was starting to become agitated
then upset, then enraged
throwing clothes around her room
the room she helped me clean the night before
i wanted to become frustrated with her
but god told me to put my arms around her instead
so i did
when i did i almost started to cry
she did start to cry
she cried hard there in her room
i didn't almost start to cry because she was crying
i almost started to cry because
now i wasn't just seeing god
i was feeling god too.
she felt better after that
and so did i
but i couldn't help but remember the feeling
that stayed deep within my skin
inside into my heart.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Little Talks
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Scared.
Monday, December 12, 2011
That Old Black Hole
I put on my clothes like a body guard
I put the dogs on patrol in my own back yard
I don't want to fight, but I'm constantly ready
And I don't rock the boat, but its always unsteady
There's an elephant in my head
And I tiptoe around it
There are eggshells on the floor
Therefore I never touch the ground
It's like that old black hole
No matter how you try
You set out each day
Never to arrive
I got my eye on the prize, but it looks just like the mystery
And it all goes by on the lonesome trail to victory
I'm drawing the blinds; I've got my own four walls
Man the show really starts once the curtain falls
Take this thorn from my side
Fix this chip on my shoulder
Time is racing with the clock
And I ain't getting any older
It's like that old black hole
No matter how you try
You set out each day
Never to arrive
I put on my finest thread
And I wrap up my body tight
With the sun in my eyes
I step into the night
Like a mystery in the dark
Oh its just another kind of light
I don't expect you do believe me, but everything is alright
I don't make rules for a living
I don't do tricks for a dime
I was born on a good day - deaf, dumb, and blind
Who am I to tell the truth
Oh, I don't even know what it is
I don't know how to say it
But I know that I can show you
I said I don't know how to say it
But I know that I can show you
I tied my boots up tight and head straight to bed
There's a pistol and a crystal underneath my pillow
There's a tender heart inside that ugly armadillo
These are tears of joy cried the weeping willow
There's a spirit in the air, there ain't to way around it
I was not prepared to lose it all the moment that I found it
It's like that old black hole
No matter how you try
You set out each day
Never to arrive
Friday, December 2, 2011
Advice from Casey Kochmer
Boredom, Tedium, loss of focus, tiredness, and so many ways to describe getting stuck in the rut....
Don't be afraid to show what you feel, nor to express yourself. After-all at some point we all go down to experience being down. The truth is, we all have our lows.
What makes the difference is what you do in the lows.
If you embrace the lows, the lows just get lower. Depression and boredom feed upon each other to create deeper holes to climb out from later. So one lesson to understand is don't reinforce your lows with more lows.
For example:
It might be fun to hang out with a friend who is depressed when you are depressed for company. Misery loves company, but misery adores misery... Sharing depression with another person in depression just ensures you keep each other down and in the rut. Misery just digs the hole deeper for depression to root in and depression just pulls misery down upon itself...
It's just a terrible combination!
It's acceptable to express your lows, but it's destructive to embrace them. You must release the lows, as singing the blues, to let the wind wail but then to come up and out back to the sun. The secret of the blues, isn't that the singer embraces the depth of despair, but they are rejoicing from hopes of harmony, the process of release by actually singing out rather than holding in the blues. This release of song lifts the person out from the blues, to show even at the darkest point, a song can make light of the dark...
No boredom and all the negative emotions are not bad for you unless you make it your lifestyle. Any negative lifestyle will tear down your world block by block... Yes this might be a form of release: but it is a destructive release over a constructive release.
We talk about release all the time in Taoism, however, we teach to release in a positive manner, in a manner that embraces grace, compassion and kindness.
If you release in a manner that embraces sloth, envy and spite then you actually get replacement rather than release, you swap out your core being to be negative attachments that end up defining you.
In other words to sing the blues is to sing:
"freedom is when you have nothing left to lose..."
So Depression knows this and depression will fill your being with misery... Misery will add in boredom... boredom breeds contempt...and it all adds up... so in the end you will get so full of these negative emotions you literally have no room left, no place to go, stuck in the rut.
Experience the lows, so you can turn around to release the very same lows, to learn to recognize them and tell Mr. Low Down Misery ... sorry no more... It's time for me to go... And release to the song of my life.
Release is just release... in the end, we all must let go to discover grace... hanging on, drags everyone down... down... down... most especially true when you are down upon yourself. It's pretty hard to restart your life, if you yourself are keeping yourself down....
Release...
Namaste